New Rules of Thai Democracy (เพราะประชาธิปไตยเปลี๊ยนไป๋)

[niranam]

Forget about everything you learned in school. Here are the New Rules of Thai Democracy:

- If you claim to love the King and accuse your enemy of betraying the King, the King will be on your side and wont let your enemy win and will kick him from the country
- If the military gives you a warning, just spread a rumor that the military is planning a coup. They will shut up.
- If you don't think you can win an election, just boycot it. The election will be void.
- If you want to prevent Parliament from convening, just pay a enemy party list MP to enter the monkhood. The Parliament will be incomplete.
- If your enemy sues you for libel, just claim that he is abusing the right to free speech and gagging the press. They will be quiet.
- If you want to criticize your enemy in a very strong way, get a monk to to it. Thais will not counter-criticize monks
- If you want to make a baseless accusation, just claim that you have secret detailed evidence that can not be publicized for national security
- Always claim your supporters are educated elite and claim your enem's supporters are uneducated Laos
- If independent institutions like the Election Committee or Constitutional Court don't agree with you, then accuse them of being controlled by your enemy
- If you betray the institutions of democracy, just claim that the spirit of democracy is more important
- If you betray the spirit of democracy, just claim that the institutions of democracy are more important
- If you betray the spirit and institutions of democracy, just claim that you fight for the King
- If you betray the King, just claim that everything must be done to destroy the dictator


ลืมได้แล้ว ประชาธิปไตยฉบับเก่าๆ สมัยนี้ประชาธิปไตยเปลี๊ยนไป๋

- ถ้าคุณอ้างว่ารักในหลวง และกล่าวหาศัตรูว่าหมิ่นฯ ในหลวงจะเข้าข้างคุณ ไม่ยอมให้ศัตรูชนะ และไล่ศัตรูให้ไปอยู่เมืองนอก
- ถ้าคณโดนทหารตักเตือน ให้แพร่ข่าวลืว่าทหารจะปฏิวัติ ทหารก็จะเงียบเอง
- ถ้าคุณรู้ตัวว่าชนะการเลือกตั้งไม่ได้แน่ๆ ให้บอยคอตซะเลย การเลือกจะได้เป็นโมฆะ
- ถ้าคุณไม่อยากให้มีการประชุมสภานัดแรก ให้ยัดเงินส.ส.ปาร์ตี้ลิสต์ศัตรูให้ลาบวช จะได้มีส.ส.ไม่ครบ
- ถ้าคุณโดนศัตรูฟ้อง ให้กล่าวหาศัตรูว่าละเมิดสิทธิและคุกคามสื่อ เขาก็จะเงียบเอง
- ถ้าคุณอยากด่าศัตรูให้มันให้แซบ ให้พระด่าแทน คนไทยไม่ก้ลาฟ้องพระ
- ถ้าคุณอยากกล่าวหาศัตรู แต่ไม่มีหลักฐาน ก็ให้อ้างว่ามีหลักฐาน แต่เปิดเผยไม่ได้ เพราะจะกระทบความมั่นคงของชาติ
- ให้อ้างเสมอว่าคุณคือปัญญาชนของประเทศ และผู้สนับสนุนศัตรูคือลาวโง่ที่ถูกจ้างมา
- ถ้าคุณไม่เห็นด้วยกับองค์กรอิสระอย่างก.ก.ต.หรือศาลร ัฐธรรมนูณ ให้อ้างว่าบองค์กรอิสระถูกศัตรูซื้อตัว
- ถ้าคุณทำผิดต่อรัฐธรรมนูณหรือสถาบันประชาธิปไตย ให้อ้างว่าจิตวิญญานของประชาธิปไตยสำคัญกว่า
- ถ้าคุณทำผิดต่อจิตวิญญานของประชาธิปไตย ให้อ้างว่ารัฐธรรมนูณหรือสถาบันประชาธิปไตยสำคั ญกว่า
- ถ้าคุณทำผิดทั้งต่อสถาบันประชาธิปไตยและจิตวิญญานของ ประชาธิปไตย ให้อ้างว่าสู้เพื่อในหลวง
- ถ้าคุณรู้ตีวว่าไม่ได้สู้เพื่อในหลวงจริง ให้อ้างว่าทุกสิ่งทำได้เพื่อล้มเผด็จการ

[The Enforcer!]

What a load of tosh.

The Enforcer!

[GWR]

:) Those are very old rules, which Thai politicians learned as long ago as 1932 and even further back.

[LEFT]Forget about everything you learned in school. Here are the New Rules of Thai Democracy:

- If you claim to love the King and accuse your enemy of betraying the King, the King will be on your side and wont let your enemy win and will kick him from the country
- If the military gives you a warning, just spread a rumor that the military is planning a coup. They will shut up.
- If you don't think you can win an election, just boycot it. The election will be void.
- If you want to prevent Parliament from convening, just pay a enemy party list MP to enter the monkhood. The Parliament will be incomplete.
- If your enemy sues you for libel, just claim that he is abusing the right to free speech and gagging the press. They will be quiet.
- If you want to criticize your enemy in a very strong way, get a monk to to it. Thais will not counter-criticize monks
- If you want to make a baseless accusation, just claim that you have secret detailed evidence that can not be publicized for national security
- Always claim your supporters are educated elite and claim your enem's supporters are uneducated Laos
- If independent institutions like the Election Committee or Constitutional Court don't agree with you, then accuse them of being controlled by your enemy
- If you betray the institutions of democracy, just claim that the spirit of democracy is more important
- If you betray the spirit of democracy, just claim that the institutions of democracy are more important
- If you betray the spirit and institutions of democracy, just claim that you fight for the King
- If you betray the King, just claim that everything must be done to destroy the dictator

You unintentionally omitted the following. And this is just what I could think of in 5 minutes. The real list is as long as this administration and counting. Unfortunately, no one remains eternally gullible. Here's the Top Twenty-Five:-

1) Votebuying on a massive scale, whilst being two-faced about the need for reform.
2) Candidate buying with precious forethought as to how they might coexist.
3) Indecent haste in becoming an experienced politician.
4) Wholesale slaughter without trial.
5) Trivialisation of problems that get in the way of the greed plan.
6) Ill-conceived projects to curry mass favor.
7) Deliberately bad-planning to prepare state enterprises for takeover by family and supporters.
8) Ignoring the crimes of supporters.
9) Subversion of the media through intimidation and purchase.
10) Arrogance, bad attitude and foul mouth.
11) Tax evasion.
12) Assets assessment evasion.
13) Ignoring major issues in favor of moneyspinners.
14) Making the armed forces and police slaves of the mob.
15) Patronising, impractical and unrealistic attitude to poverty.
16) Dumbing down every issue and the electorate.
17) Fomenting a dangerous situation through gut-wrenching stubbornness.
18) Being a hypocrite when problems beset your own family.
19) Tearing up a constitution that took many months to create.
20) Constantly harping on that tired Lese Majeste theme, and then ignoring advice from above yourself.
21) Deliberately building a party which could not help being anything other than corrupt.
22) Being a poor loser and sportsman.
23) Pandering to the whims of violent misfits. Not to mention using known gangsters to coerce votes. And placing their relatives in Ministerial posts.
24) Believing that a country is a company, and that an organic party can be run by one family.
25) Using the Electoral Commission to do your dirty work.
26) Employing that old reprobate Sanoh Tienthong as a campaign manager.
27) Deliberately banking on the uncompalining good-nature of your fellow countrymen for personal gain.
28) Cutting provinces out of the budget who don't lick arse at every whipstitch.
29) Subverting government officials with strategic handouts and pay increases to deliver the country into your hands.
30) Allowing your family and friends to ride roughshod over anyone they take it into their heads to dislike.
31) Allowing an unelected spouse and family to take advantage.

.................................................. ............

Ad Nauseaum! It gets worse everyday. Screw the silly notion that the Singaporeans are taking over. Thailand has already been colonised by one family and a party of complete scoundrels.

[GWR]

[LEFT]Forget about everything you learned in school. Here are the New Rules of Thai Democracy:

- If you claim to love the King and accuse your enemy of betraying the King, the King will be on your side and wont let your enemy win and will kick him from the country
- If the military gives you a warning, just spread a rumor that the military is planning a coup. They will shut up.
- If you don't think you can win an election, just boycot it. The election will be void.
- If you want to prevent Parliament from convening, just pay an enemy party list MP to enter the monkhood. The Parliament will be incomplete.
- If your enemy sues you for libel, just claim that he is abusing the right to free speech and gagging the press. They will be quiet.
- If you want to criticize your enemy in a very strong way, get a monk to to it. Thais will not counter-criticize monks
- If you want to make a baseless accusation, just claim that you have secret detailed evidence that can not be publicized for national security
- Always claim your supporters are educated elite and claim your enemy's supporters are uneducated Laos
- If independent institutions like the Election Committee or Constitutional Court don't agree with you, then accuse them of being controlled by your enemy
- If you betray the institutions of democracy, just claim that the spirit of democracy is more important
- If you betray the spirit of democracy, just claim that the institutions of democracy are more important
- If you betray the spirit and institutions of democracy, just claim that you fight for the King
- If you betray the King, just claim that everything must be done to destroy the dictator

Further Qs & comments:-

1) What democracy? I hadn't noticed that it reaches down to Soi level yet.
2) Since when has the military needed help in creating either coups or the threat of coups?
3) Is the election void? Methinks it only needs tweeking. Something a good CEO could fix in no time at all.
4) Did he lose? I hadn't noticed.
5) The 'Spirit of Democracy' probably runs a poor second to Black Cat. They haven't had that spirit here since 1932.
6) Dictators are as dictators do. I don't need a politician to tell me who the real tyrrants are.
7) There should also be a law against trying to use Lese Majeste as a lever against your enemies. It's a bad habit both sides have.
8) Had it occurred to you that it is possible to dislike the Dems, Chart Thai, Sondhi and Chumlong, and still think the Government sucks.
9) He will be back, proving to us all that he really has no ideals other than that which is instantly profitable. The TRT power and money binge isn't over yet!

[Baton Rouge]

The terms 'Thailand' and 'Democracy' completely contradict each other anyway. The reality is a country which is almost as brutal as as Burma, but which has better shopping. Hence we have articles like the following that can only hint that Thaksin corrupts everything he touches
http://www.geocities.com/changnoi2/strange.htm
The outlook for Thailand, even given the old adage - This is Thailand - that suggests that Thailand is always different from the rest of the world, is extremely bleak. There was a time when you could just forget the problems in Bangkok and just enjoy the pleasant environment, but now there is precious little left of it.

[jpatokal]

The terms 'Thailand' and 'Democracy' completely contradict each other anyway. The reality is a country which is almost as brutal as as Burma, but which has better shopping. ... The outlook for Thailand, even given the old adage - This is Thailand - that suggests that Thailand is always different from the rest of the world, is extremely bleak. There was a time when you could just forget the problems in Bangkok and just enjoy the pleasant environment, but now there is precious little left of it.
Aren't we being just a wee bit melodramatic here? Even with the political squabbles and the Southern unrest, Thailand is hardly facing any scenario that really warrants the description "extremely bleak": full-fledged civil war (eg. Khmer Rouge-era Cambodia) or outright war (cf. Vietnam), or even economic collapse due to chronic mismanagement (cf. North Korea or Zimbabwe right now). If you ask me, the military has conducted itself admirably, the King is still doing a pretty good job of intervening minimally to knock heads together, and TRT's economic policies are Reaganesque and unsustainable but hardly a Mugabean/Kim Jong Il style road to utter perdition. The absolute worst I can realistically see happening is some sort of Suhartoesque economic bellyflop a la 1997, but Thailand lived through that and will do so again.

[Baton Rouge]

You have a point there.

Perhaps my extreme pessimism is informed by something else.

It has been suggested to me that a future succession is extremely problematic. The successor in question is not renown for common sense, tact, charm or benevolence. Naive might also be added to the list. It seems there is evidence that our Beloved Fuhrer has already written off the current incumbent, and wishes to sponsor the successor. This sponsorship is both designed to ingratiate and to discredit the instituation itself.

If I knew a bit less about our Beloved Fuhrer, I might be inclined to disregard this info out of hand. Unfortunately, everything I know about about the man leads me to suspect he is capable of such treachery. Fortunately, I suspect he is not nearly effective as he thinks he is himself. However, in playing such a dodgy hand, I think he is capable of bringing Thailand close to real civil disorder.

There you have it. On top of melodrama, you also get some wild conjecture, smoke & mirrors! ;-)